Podcast Episode 3: Shy Bladder While Traveling: Flights, Road Trips and Stadiums

ByNoah
Paruresis Cure Podcast cover art

In Episode 3 of the Paruresis Cure Podcast, Noah and Samantha get practical about one of the hardest parts of living with shy bladder: travel. With the holidays coming up, they cover how to prepare before a trip, what helps on flights and road trips, how to handle a packed stadium restroom, and what to do when it just isn’t happening. (9 minutes)

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In this episode

  • Why cutting back on fluids backfires, and why to plan your stops instead
  • Practicing in busy places a couple of weeks before a trip, like a dress rehearsal
  • Talking to your doctor about a backup plan for long trips
  • Flights: aisle seats, going early, off-peak moments and the upside of engine noise
  • Road trips: bigger stops, regular breaks and using the stall
  • Stadiums and concerts: going during play and finding the quieter restrooms
  • What to do when it’s not happening, and when to get medical help

Tips from the episode

  • Before the trip: drink normally and plan your restroom stops. Practice in busier places for a couple of weeks beforehand. For long trips with few options, ask your doctor about a backup plan.
  • Flying: choose an aisle seat, use the airport restroom before you board, and try the plane restroom early, before lines form. Look for quieter moments, like when the cabin lights dim or after meal service. Take your time: nobody outside knows why you’re in there.
  • Road trips: stop at large travel centers, chain restaurants and big-box stores, which usually have more stalls and more privacy. Stop every couple of hours, before it’s urgent. Use the stall whenever you like.
  • Stadiums and concerts: go during play, not at halftime or between sets. Restrooms farther from the main entrance or on upper levels are often quieter, and family or accessible restrooms can help where available and appropriate.
  • When it’s not happening: breathe out slowly, think “try, not go,” and give yourself a couple of minutes. If it still doesn’t happen, leave, relax and try again in 15 to 30 minutes.

Resources mentioned

This podcast is for general education only and is not medical advice. If you can’t urinate at all for several hours, or you have pain or a very full bladder, get medical help right away.

What should we cover next? Send us a message.

Transcript

Lightly edited for readability.

Noah: Welcome back to the Paruresis Cure Podcast. I’m Noah, president and founder of Paruresis Cure, and I’m here with my wonderful co-host, Samantha, again.

Samantha: Hi, everyone. I’m glad to be back.

Noah: And again, glad to have you back. Quick reminder before we start: everything we share is general information, not medical advice. And stick around to the end, because we’d love your ideas for future episodes.

Samantha: So the holidays are coming up, which for a lot of people means travel: flights, long drives to see family, and maybe a big game or concert. And I’m guessing for someone with a shy bladder, that’s not exactly relaxing.

Noah: No, not at all. For a lot of people, travel is the hardest part of living with shy bladder. A long line outside the airplane restroom, a packed rest stop, a stadium restroom at halftime. Many people just turn trips down because of those things.

Samantha: So today it’s all about how to travel without shy bladder running the show. Let’s start before the trip even begins. Noah, what should people do ahead of time?

Noah: So Sam, the first thing is going to surprise a lot of people: don’t stop drinking. It’s tempting to cut back on fluids so you don’t have to go, but being dehydrated makes you feel worse, and a full bladder you can’t empty is worse still. Just drink normally and plan your restroom breaks instead.

Samantha: I know we’ve talked about that before, but I’m glad you’re saying it, because that would be my first go-to. It sounds great, because you’d feel like you’d go less often.

Noah: Right, but it’s going to come up at some point, and we just want to make sure we have a good plan. That’s better than cutting back on fluids.

Samantha: So plan the stops, not the thirst.

Noah: Exactly. The second one is practice. If you’ve listened to Episode 1, you know about graduated exposure: practicing in situations that are just a little harder than you’re comfortable with. A couple of weeks before a trip, practice in places that are really busy, like busy stores, gas stations and restaurants.

Samantha: Oh, like a dress rehearsal.

Noah: Exactly, that’s a great way to put it. The third one is to talk to your doctor about a backup plan. For long flights or trips with few options, some people learn self-catheterization as a safety net. That’s a conversation for your doctor, though, not for us. We don’t know a whole lot about catheterization, so that’s something to take to your doctor.

Samantha: Yeah, I don’t want you giving advice.

Noah: I know you want me to catheterize you.

Samantha: No. Definitely not.

Noah: But a lot of people find that just knowing they have a backup lowers the anxiety enough that they never need it.

Samantha: All right, let’s start with flying. That’s the one I hear about the most. Tiny restroom, people waiting right outside the door. Sounds like the worst nightmare for someone with shy bladder.

Noah: Yeah, it’s a tough one. A few things help. First, pick an aisle seat so you can get up whenever you want without asking anyone to move.

Samantha: That alone seems like it would take away some pressure, because you’re not climbing over people and basically announcing to everyone what you’re going to do.

Noah: Also watch your elbows. That cart can be pretty heavy. And like you said, it takes some pressure off. Next, go early and often. Use the airport restroom before you board.

Samantha: I always do that.

Noah: That’s a good idea. Then try the plane restroom early in the flight, before the lines form and before the drinks come around.

Samantha: So what if it’s a busy flight and there’s always a line? I’ve been on flights like that, and it’s really annoying.

Noah: Look for off-peak moments, like when the cabin lights are dimmed or right after the meal service ends. And here’s one people don’t think about: planes are really loud. Between the engines and the flush, a lot of sounds get covered, which many people find reassuring.

Samantha: I’ve never thought of the engine noise as a good thing until now. But in this situation, it’s perfect.

Noah: For this it is. And finally, take your time. Nobody outside that door knows why you’re in there. A couple of extra minutes is completely normal.

Samantha: Okay, so what about road trips? Rest stops can be really hit or miss.

Noah: They are. So plan your stops at bigger places like large travel centers, chain restaurants and big-box stores. They usually have more stalls and more privacy than a small gas station.

Samantha: And more coffee.

Noah: Lots more coffee. An important one. The next tip is a big one: stop before it’s urgent. Urgency adds pressure, and pressure is the enemy of shy bladder. Build in regular stops every couple of hours, whether you feel like you need to go or not.

Samantha: And use the stall, right?

Noah: Yes, absolutely.

Samantha: I always use the stall, so no problem there.

Noah: There’s no rule that says you have to use a urinal. Use stalls freely.

Samantha: Okay, so the big one: a stadium at halftime. Those restrooms are packed.

Noah: Yes, they are. That’s about as hard as it gets. A few tricks: avoid the rush by going during play, not at halftime or between sets. Explore the venue. Restrooms farther from the main entrance or on upper levels are often much quieter. And where they’re available and appropriate, family or accessible restrooms can help, especially early on.

Samantha: So it’s really about planning in advance, getting there early enough to get the lay of the land, and finding the easiest option, not forcing yourself into the hardest one.

Noah: Either that or just go to a Jennifer Lopez concert. There’s nobody there.

Samantha: That’s a great tip.

Noah: And over time, with practice, you can work up to the busier ones. But on the day, there’s no prize for doing it the hard way.

Samantha: All right, so you’ve planned everything, you’re in the restroom, and it’s just not happening. What then?

Noah: First, breathe out slowly. Long, slow exhales calm the stress response. Second, remember the “try, not go” idea from Episode 1. Instead of “I have to go right now,” tell yourself, “I’ll stand here and breathe for two minutes.” Some people also use the breath-hold technique. There’s a step-by-step guide on our site, and we’ll link it in the show notes.

Samantha: So what if you’ve done all that, you’re at the J.Lo concert, and it still doesn’t happen?

Noah: Then try again later. Leave, relax and come back in 15 to 30 minutes. It’s not a failure. And one important safety note: if you can’t urinate at all for several hours, or you feel pain or a very full bladder, get medical help.

Samantha: These are all really practical, but I imagine a lot of people want more than just getting through one trip.

Noah: Yeah, and that’s the real goal: to travel freely, not just survive it. That comes from building confidence step by step, which is what our ebook and our 12-week program are built for. You can try Week 1 of the program free at paruresiscure.com/program/week-1. No sign-up needed.

Samantha: And all of today’s tips are written up on the website too, right?

Noah: They are. The full travel guide is at paruresiscure.com/shy-bladder-travel-tips, and every episode, with show notes and a transcript, is at paruresiscure.com/podcast.

Samantha: And we’d love to hear from you, our listeners. What should we cover next? Use the contact page at paruresiscure.com or message us on Instagram at @paruresiscure. And if the show is helping you, follow us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss an episode.

Noah: Safe travels, everyone. You are not alone in this.

Samantha: Yes, thanks for listening.

Noah: I’m about to travel myself. We’ve got a Packers game coming up, so…

Samantha: Travel right on over to the couch.

Noah: Yep, that’s right. Take it one small step at a time, and we’ll see you next time. Bye.

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